Therapy for Women’s Issues

People-pleasing is when you feel like you have to make everyone else happy, even if it means ignoring what you really want. You might feel scared to say no, or guilty when you speak up for yourself.

Signs You Might Be People-Pleasing:

• You say yes when you really want to say no

• You feel responsible for how others feel

• You avoid conflict, even if something is bothering you

• You apologize all the time, even when you didn’t do anything wrong

• You change your opinion to match the group

• You feel anxious when someone is upset with you

• You try to “fix” things or people so they’ll like you

• You don’t ask for help, but always offer it

• You feel invisible or resentful in relationships

• You get praised for being “so nice” but it doesn’t feel good

Signs You’re Healing:

• You pause before saying yes and check in with yourself first

• You realize other people’s emotions aren’t your responsibility

• You allow discomfort instead of avoiding it

• You apologize less, and only when you truly mean it

• You share your real opinions, even when they differ

• You can tolerate someone being upset without panicking

• You stop over‑explaining or trying to fix everything

• You ask for help and let yourself receive it

• You feel more seen and less resentful in relationships

• Being kind feels genuine instead of draining

Perfectionism is when nothing ever feels good enough including you. You put huge pressure on yourself to get everything right, and feel like a failure if there’s even one small mistake.

Signs You Might Be a Perfectionist:

• You procrastinate because you’re afraid it won’t be perfect

• You beat yourself up for tiny mistakes

• You feel like you have to “earn” rest or fun

• You constantly think, “I should be doing more”

• You’re rarely proud of yourself even when you accomplish big things

• You redo things others already did “just to make sure”

• You feel anxious if things aren’t planned or organized

• You hate asking for help because it feels like failure

• You compare yourself to others constantly

• You’re exhausted from always trying to “get it right”

Signs You’re Healing:

• You start things before you feel fully “ready”

• You make mistakes without spiraling into shame

• You rest because you’re tired not because you earned it

• The thought “I should be doing more” has less power over you

• You can feel proud of yourself without immediately minimizing it

• You trust others to do things their own way

• You feel more flexible when plans change

• You ask for help without feeling like you failed

• You compare yourself less and come back to your own lane faster

• You feel lighter and less exhausted by constant self‑pressure

Hyper-independence is when you’ve learned to do everything on your own not because you want to, but because you don’t trust anyone else to really show up for you.

Signs You Might Be Hyper-Independent:

• You feel safest when you’re in control or in charge

• You rarely ask for help, even when you need it

• You feel uncomfortable depending on anyone

• You’d rather struggle alone than risk being disappointed

• You are often “the strong one”

• You secretly feel overwhelmed but keep pushing

• You don’t tell people when you’re struggling

• You feel angry or let down when others don’t step up but never say anything

• You’ve been self-sufficient since a young age

• You fear that needing people makes you weak

Signs You’re Healing:

• You let people show up for you, even if it feels unfamiliar

• You ask for help without over‑explaining why you need it

• You allow support without feeling weak or guilty

• You feel safe softening, not just performing strength

• You stop viewing receiving as a risk

Similar to people-pleasing, codependency is when your sense of self gets tangled up in other people. You feel like you need their approval or them to be a certain way to feel okay. You might lose yourself trying to take care of everyone else.

Signs You Might Be Codependent:

• You feel anxious when someone pulls away or sets a boundary

• You worry constantly about being “too much” or “not enough”

• You give more than you get, in most relationships

• You feel guilty when you focus on your own needs

• You try to fix or rescue others from their problems

• You stay in draining relationships because you're scared to leave

• You don’t know who you are without someone to take care of

• You feel responsible for how other people feel

• You keep peace at all costs, even if it hurts you

• You feel invisible unless you’re being helpful

Signs You’re Healing:

• You recognize your needs without apologizing for them

• You can hold space without losing yourself in someone else

• You take care of others and yourself — not either/or

• You can say no and let others be disappointed

• You no longer need to be needed to feel worthy

“Nice girl” conditioning is what you learned growing up to be sweet, quiet, agreeable, and never rock the boat. You think being caring and giving makes you a good person. But now, being “nice” all the time makes you feel stuck, small, or resentful.

Signs You Might Be Stuck in “Nice Girl” Mode:

• You avoid saying what you really think to keep people happy

• You smile even when you're upset

• You were taught that being “good” means being quiet and easygoing

• You feel guilty for wanting more

• You were called “too sensitive” or “too emotional”

• You downplay your accomplishments

• You feel uncomfortable taking up space or being seen

• You’re scared of being seen as selfish

• You let others lead even when you want to

• You feel bad when you prioritize yourself

Signs You’re Healing:

• You say what you really think, even if it makes waves

• You speak up even when your voice shakes

• You stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable

• You let go of needing to be “easygoing” all the time

• You prioritize being real over being liked

Insecurity is the voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, no matter what you do. You doubt yourself constantly, and take things personally.

Signs You Might Be Struggling With Insecurity:

• You overthink what you said — even hours later

• You assume people are judging or criticizing you

• You need a lot of reassurance to feel okay

• You compare yourself to others constantly

• You struggle to accept compliments

• You downplay your ideas or shrink in groups

• You assume others know more or are more qualified

• You talk yourself out of opportunities

• You feel like an imposter in your own success

• You feel like you have to prove yourself

Signs You’re Healing:

• You speak with more self-trust, even if you’re still nervous

• You stop seeking constant reassurance from others

• You take up space without shrinking or apologizing

• You try new things without needing to be perfect at them

• You believe you're worthy even before you’ve proven anything

Emotional suppression is when you push your feelings down because they feel “too much” or “inconvenient.” You stay in your head, avoid your body, and struggle to connect to how you really feel.

Signs You Might Be Suppressing Emotion:

• You intellectualize everything instead of feeling it

• You rarely cry or feel ashamed when you do

• You feel disconnected or numb a lot

• You’re scared that if you “go there,” you won’t come back

• You say “I’m fine” even when you're not

• You talk about your emotions like they’re happening to someone else

• You avoid quiet time because that’s when the feelings come up

• You dismiss your feelings as “not a big deal”

• You feel tension in your body but don’t know why

• You try to solve emotions instead of feeling them

Signs You’re Healing:

• You name how you feel without needing to justify it

• You cry, rage, or feel without shutting down or numbing

• You express your emotions before they explode

• You check in with your body, not just your thoughts

• You stop judging emotions as “too much”

Fear of vulnerability is when opening up feels risky. You want deep connection, but the idea of being truly seen makes you anxious like people might leave or judge you if they knew the real you.

Signs You Might Fear Vulnerability:

• You share just enough to connect — but not too much

• You feel anxious after opening up, even a little

• You keep people at arm’s length emotionally

• You struggle to ask for help or let people support you

• You worry people will think you're needy

• You hide your true feelings until they explode

• You hate crying or being seen as “emotional”

• You feel safe being the listener but not the one who shares

• You second-guess your emotions after expressing them

• You fear that being vulnerable will lead to rejection

Signs You’re Healing:

• You share what’s real, even if your voice shakes

• You can let others see you without over-explaining

• You feel safer being known than being liked

• You open up without rehearsing everything first

• You trust that the right people can handle your truth

Shame is the deep, painful belief that something is wrong with you. It’s different from guilt (which is “I did something bad”) shame says, “I am bad.” It makes you hide, shrink, or overcompensate.

Signs You Might Be Carrying Shame:

• You feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough” — sometimes both

• You hide parts of yourself in relationships

• You replay embarrassing moments over and over

• You feel like everyone else has it figured out but you

• You struggle to forgive yourself for past mistakes

• You think you need to “fix” yourself to be lovable

• You downplay your needs, success, or desires

• You’re scared of being found out as a “fraud”

• You feel broken, even if you look fine on the outside

• You carry a constant sense that you’re failing somehow

Signs You’re Healing:

• You catch critical self-talk and meet it with kindness

• You feel safe being seen in your full, messy humanity

• You no longer believe your worth depends on what you do

• You forgive yourself for things your old self didn’t know

• You speak to yourself like someone you truly love