The Reason You Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men Isn’t Because You’re “Not Good Enough” —It’s Because of This
You’ve asked yourself this more times than you can count:
“Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable men?”
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“Am I just not enough for someone to choose me?”
Here’s the truth that will change your whole perspective:
It’s not because you’re not good enough.
It’s because—unconsciously—you keep entertaining the men who can’t meet you.
And before you spiral into self-blame—hold up.
This isn’t about shame.
It’s about understanding the deeper pattern... and finally breaking it.
Society Taught You to Wait for a Man to Choose You
Let’s be honest—women have been conditioned to believe that the man holds the power in dating.
We’ve been taught to:
Wait for him to decide if he’s “ready”
Stick around and hope he’ll change
Make ourselves more desirable, more chill, more anything—to be chosen
So when a man shows up (even a little), and especially when dating feels scarce, you convince yourself:
“Maybe this is it.”
Even when he says he’s not looking for a relationship.
Even when the red flags are waving like parade banners.
And the pattern repeats.
When You Entertain Emotionally Unavailable Men, You Block the Ones Who Are Ready
Your love lens gets clouded. You start to believe:
“All men are avoidant.”
“No one wants commitment anymore.”
“If I can’t make this work, i’ll end up alone”
But here’s what’s actually happening:
Every time you engage with an unavailable man, you’re reinforcing a story that doesn’t have to be true.
The secure men—the ones who want to show up, plan dates, and build something real—get filtered out by your own nervous system because they don’t feel as “exciting” as the chase (and a part of you still wants to hold onto the same stories about love since it feels safer than the unknown).
A Secure Woman Sees Red Flags and Walks the F Away
Let’s be clear: a secure woman doesn’t attract better men because she’s luckier or prettier.
She attracts them because she’s not entertaining anyone who isn’t emotionally ready.
Her energy says:
“I’m not here to convince, chase, or wait for someone to be ready. I am the woman. The man who’s ready will act like it.”
She doesn’t sit in “situationships.”
She doesn’t excuse avoidant behavior.
She doesn’t wait around, hoping a maybe turns into a yes.
And guess what?
Her love reality reflects that.
She sees good men everywhere because she only entertains men who show green flags from the start.
You Can Upgrade Your Love Lens—Starting Now
I know this pattern because I lived it.
And I also know what it looks like on the other side—where you’re going on dates without worrying about his texts in between—where you’re having honest conversations expressing your needs, happily—where you’re bouncing back fast after not being asked out again—happily ready for the next man.
My clients? They’re living this too.
And no—it didn’t take years of talking it out in therapy.
They took radical responsibility.
They healed the parts of themselves that tolerated breadcrumbs.
And they upgraded their entire love blueprint—faster than they ever thought possible.
2025 Is Your Year to Find The One—Let’s Make It Happen
If you’re tired of being in the same cycle—texting men who ghost, hoping someone changes, wondering what you’re doing wrong—it’s time to do love differently.
Click here to book your FREE consult call with me.
Inside the call, I’ll walk you through my proven 3-step process that helps women attract emotionally available men—5x faster than traditional talk therapy.
Because the love you want?
The one where you feel committed to and chosen?
It’s real. It’s available. And it’s waiting for the woman who’s ready to stop settling.
and P.S. don’t forget to grab my free guide where i tell you the top 10 patterns i see in women that stop them from being chosen by the RIGHT man —